Hi friends,

I recently heard a song lyric that has helped shift my perspective in a really positive way. It goes: "I'll stop fighting what I can withstand."

You see, this summer I've been finding myself getting annoyed with little things. My work schedule colliding with plans I wanted to make, trying to deal with the heat, online drama I didn't need to absorb, etc. Every time I let one of those things in, it made me irritated in a way that didn't feel good, and even the energy I got from complaining about it didn't really leave me feeling better for long.

So when I heard it, that lyric hit me. The things I perceived were bringing me down were actually things I could withstand. I was practicing defeat in a situation that I know I'll make it through. Shifting my mindset has lifted a weight I didn't realize I was carrying.

As always, the timing was perfect. If I had heard that song any earlier, I'm not sure it would have had the same effect. I was already in the right headspace, thanks in part to something my yoga teacher Tej wrote in her own newsletter a few weeks back: "Much of our struggle comes from asking one phase of life to do the work of another." That landed directly, and helped me realize that much of my frustration was coming from expecting a harvest during a season meant for planting.

For example, I've been in somewhat of a holding pattern career-wise for a bit of time. I don't know yet if what's next will look familiar or completely different. What I do know is that I'm in transition. And not knowing the outcome is hard, especially in our culture where we're pressured to hold the reins, expected to know what comes next. But in reality, for now, the main thing I can do is just go along for the ride. So instead of fighting what I'm up against, I'm choosing to notice what I'm grateful for in this moment, and trusting it's here to serve this particular stretch of the road.

A Pivoting Exercise

Another way to help shift your perspective is to do the following pivoting exercise, that helps use contrast (what you don't want) as guide to clarity (what you do want).

• Step 1: Name the contrast. Pick something that has been bothering you lately and write it down plainly.
• Step 2: Find the want. Every frustration is pointing you toward something you actually want. For example, "I'm not making enough money" reveals "I want to feel financially supported." Find the thing you're wanting from the thing that's been bothering you, and write it down.
• Step 3: Turn it into an "I Am" statement. Take your want, and state it as if it's already true, in present tense. Not "I want to feel appreciated" but "I am deeply appreciated."
• Step 4: Say it out loud. Repeat your "I Am" statement, out loud daily if you can. It might feel like a stretch at first, but the goal isn't to convince yourself instantly, it's a tool to gently redirect your focus.
  • ​

When old frustration creeps back in, come back to your statement instead of the complaint. That's how you can pivot, one thought at a time.

I wanted to share this in case something in your life could use that same shift, from fighting to appreciating. It's not about forcing yourself to love what you hate. It's about moving your attention from what's frustrating towards the ways you're being supported, right now, exactly where you are.

And if you want to go deeper with pivoting, I made a full Pivoting Kit PDF a few summers ago. Just let me know and I'll send it your way.

xo,
Christen